Epic Trip Vehicle Analysis

A Jeep Commander took control of the road for the original Epic Trip to California and back. The Commander, as it was known, struggled to provide the road trip necessities of comfort, fuel economy, and storage space, but managed to get the job done.  A Chrysler Town & Country named Polk made an epic journey around the US East of the Mississippi. Polk was a solid performer all around from West Quoddy Head, Maine to Bourbon Street, clearly an improvement on all fronts over The Commander. But now, a challenger! Stepping into big shoes is Xena, the Warrior Dodge, a Grand Caravan from the Motor City.  Two cousins step into the arena to battle for the title of Best Epic Trip Vehicle. 

Exterior Appearance: As cousins, Polk and Xena are visually similar. Squared off fenders on both with a high, flat hood give them a strong, broad-shouldered look.  Polk was decked out in black with chrome accents, where Xena is dressed in white, with less visual flash but a more aggressive front fascia that says "Hey I'm the younger, hard partying cousin".  Both are distinctive from a distance, with a clean, modern look far better than the horrific cartoon stylings of vehicles like the Nissan Quest. When it comes down to it, the classy black and chrome of Polk looks like James Bond rocking a tux, holding a martini. The cheaper but sportier looking Xena is more like some Jersey Shore loser, trying a little too hard to look tough in a tight T-shirt and missing the "classy" mark by a country mile.  Polk's grown-up looks were at home in the high-class New England cities as well as the beaches of Florida, and with this classic style takes the crown for Exterior Appearance.

 

Interior: Minivans are all about functionality. Forget Sport Utility Vehicles, the minivan is the champion of utility. Both Polk and Xena come equipped with the ingenious Stow 'n Go system, allowing the front seats to fold forward into the floor, or the rear seats down into the trunk for a flat load floor.  With the front seats up, the compartments in the floor make excellent food storage, sort of like cabinets laid on their back.  The rear passengers can get anything the crew needs without even unbuckling their seatbelts.  On both trips the Stow 'n Go was loaded for bear with 5lbs of Haribo gummy bears, 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies, sandwich bread, peanut butter, Sun Chips, paper towels and silverware. With room to spare. For Epic Trip II we left the rear seats up, putting luggage behind the seats, and laptops, coolers, pillows, enough blankets to keep the homeless population of Chicago warm, and any other miscellaneous items on the floor and in the back seats.  With Xena and Epic Trip III we're trying out folding the rear seats down for one large storage area with luggage at the back, cooler and extra drinks at the front, and everything else on top (we did manage to talk the women down to fewer blankets).  Storage pockets in the doors are identical, as is the total internal volume.  Both have a plethora of 12V outlets, but Polk upped the ante with a 110V AC outlet which came in handy with the mountain of electronics brought on the trip. Polk came equipped with a higher level of electronic magic than Xena, with touchscreen controls, a backup camera, digital 3 zone temperature control, and a large multifunction display in the instrument cluster. The side mirrors had an excellent blind spot warning system which came in handy in busy city traffic, as well as trick auto dimming high beams.  The center console was a counfoundingly complicated multi-way sliding 3-tier deal that did more to make you forget where you put things than function as useful storage.  The touchscreen was finicky and only useful for the backup camera.  Xena steps back into the analog age, with button and dial audio controls and no backup camera.  Xena is still rocking the 3 zone temperature control, but with dials instead of automatic controls. Xena lacks blind spot monitoring, which hasn't been missed so far in the wide open wild West.  The center console is a simpler and more usable fixed unit that has been home to a lot of phones, cameras, and wallets so far.  Xena's instrument cluster display is smaller, but with the same functionality.  Xena is also lacking the crucial rear-seat reading light which was a near-constant use feature in Polk.  So far no one seems to be missing the clunky Polk touchscreen, turns out its hard to beat the buttons and dials that have been used for the last half century or more.  Most other things are a wash, with some small advantages to both, going to have to call this one a tie.

Powertrain: Xena and Polk are both equipped with identical V6 engines and 6-speed automatic transmissions. Both are easily strong enough to break 100mph. Wait, I mean easily strong enough to do exactly the speed limit.  The exhaust note of the Warrior Dodge is a bit more aggressive, and definitely louder. This can be obnoxious, especially in the hills when the transmission is gear hunting often.  Polk has a more mellow exhaust note in keeping with its upscale exterior.  Polk also delivered excellent fuel economy of more than 24mpg, while for some unexplainable reason the Warrior Dodge has been down in the 22mpg range.  So far the slight edge has to go to Polk.

Handling: Polk claims to be made for the Town and the Country, and while I'm not exactly sure what they mean by that, the suspension was tuned for a soft, floaty ride, which made it unimpressive but capable on the winding roads of the upper northeast.  The Warrior Dodge on the other hand is living up to her name, attacking corners like a one-boobed Amazon.  The suspension is tighter without beating you up over choppy pavement.  Xena has already gotten a solid workout on the Badlands loop road and through the Black Hills around Mount Rushmore, and there are a lot more winding roads in the remainder of the trip.  This one goes to Xena.

Xena and Polk both clearly crush The Commander in every category, and are neck and neck as Best Epic Trip Vehicle.  So far Polk has the slight edge, but Xena may make up ground as we tear through the mountains of the West. At the end of the trip we'll make our decision if Xena has managed to knock Polk off the top step to take home the trophy.